Speeding Tickets
by Moony44
Summary: Edward Perfect Play-By-The-Rules Cullen gets his first speeding ticket ever. A silly, whimsical, and ridiculous one-shot.
1. Chapter 1

_AN: Before New Moon. _

--

It was a normal day. You know, just like every other day I had. A regular girl who just happened to be together with a gorgeous vampire.

Well, actually, it _started_ off as any other day.

It ended very differently.

I was in the car with Edward, my own personal Adonis. He was driving at his usual eye-popping hundred-plus miles per hour, and I was sitting admiring him. Like always. He whizzed past blurs of green, and I could only assume they were trees. My eyes spotted a shape that I could identify as Rocky's Market, and I knew we were only a few miles from my house, which would only take about ten minutes if a normal person was driving. With Edward's speed, we would be cruising into my driveway in ten seconds.

All of a sudden, I heard sirens behind us. I peered towards the back of my love's shiny Volvo and saw flashing scarlet lights.

"Hmm..." I mused, turning around to face Edward. "I wonder who they're going after." I chuckled amusedly to myself and crossed my arms in front of chest in a relaxed position. Edward, however, didn't seem to find this so amusing. He straightened up in his seat and pulled the speed down to a cool seventy-five.

"We're practically crawling at this pace..." Edward's voice said, annoyed.

"Keep your pants on," I said, trying to stifle a laugh at Edward's irritated expression. His pale lips were pressed tightly together and his brow was crinkled in disgust.

"We're never going to get home at this rate," he murmured again, rolling his eyes. I rolled my eyes right back at him and looked at the road ahead.

I tried desperately to ignore the blaring sirens, but they seemed to get louder. And louder. I turned around and then quickly glanced disbelievingly at Edward. A police cruiser, similar to Charlie's, was directly on our tail. There was no mistaking who they were going after now.

"You've got to be kidding me. In one hundred years I've never..." Edward muttered, almost inaudibly under his breath. His mouth let out a stream of all sorts of colorful curse words before slowing down and pulling to the side of the road.

The police car followed and stopped behind us. I could barely see a figure climbing out of his cruiser to come to talk to us and I giggled at the irony of it all. Edward glared at me and unrolled the window.

"Can I help you, officer?" Edward asked, in the politest tone he could muster.

"Yeah, punk, you certainly can. Explain to me why you were driving over a hundred miles an hour on a small highway." The officer did not look tickled at all. He had a pad of paper out, which I could no doubt guess were tickets.

"I have a very good reason, sir. You see," he feigned a gloomy look and continued, "It's my mother, sir. She's ill. She requested medication for her illness, and I went as quickly as I could to go and retrieve it for her. She needs me, sir." He gave his best puppy eyes and pout.

The officer's hard features seemed to soften, but he straightened up. "May I see the medication?"

Edward's eyes flashed with worry, but he quickly reached in the backseat and pulled out a bottle of what looked like pain medication. "Here it is, sir."

A hand reached for the bottle and the man took a long, good look at it. He nodded his approval and gave it back to him. If Edward could breath, I bet he would have sighed in relief. As he was putting the medicine in the backseat, I took another peek at it. Advil. I grinned inwardly. Boy, this officer was gullible.

"But," the officer started, licking the tip of his pen. "That doesn't excuse your wrongdoings. You still get a speeding ticket. And I expect you at driving school, son." After asking some questions and looking at Edward's driving license, he scribbled furiously across the yellow paper and ripped it off, dropping it in my love's lap.

Edward looked at me, and then the police officer who was walking away, an astonished look in his eyes. I let out a laugh I held in all to long.

"Edward Cullen got a speeding ticket," I cried, not believing what just happened. Edward let out a grunt and slouched in his seat, his normally perfect posture in disarray. His hair was tousled and his eyes shone duller than usual. Like a murky honey color instead of his usual golden.

"Stop it, Bella," he whispered, defeated. "I cannot believe it. I have never gotten anything from a police officer in my hundred year existence."

"Aww, is my Edward's perfect driving record ruined?" I teased, patting his forearm. His fingers were clenched so tightly around the steering wheel I was afraid it would bend like a paperclip.

He ignored me and started to speed up, passing my house and bolting into the woods. Without asking, I knew immediately that he wanted to talk to Carlisle about this.

"Why was there Advil in the backseat, anyway?" I smiled again and let out a small laugh.

Edward did the same, but grinned to himself. He looked as if he was sharing an inside joke with himself.

"What?" I asked, accusingly.

"Silly Bella," he started. "I thought you would have guessed, my love. I take a bottle of Advil everywhere I go with you." He nodded, hoping I was catching on.

And when I finally did, I narrowed my eyes at him and let out a 'humph'.

"So, it's because of my klutziness that you carry around pain killers, huh?" I spat, looking at him with fake anger. Because it never could be real anger. I loved him too much. And I know that sounds silly, but how could I ever be mad at my Edward?

"I just don't ever want you to feel hurt, my Bella," he said, softly rubbing my hand with his chilly fingers. I sighed contentedly, forgetting to pretend to be mad.

"I love you, Edward," I said, awe-struck at his beauty.

"I know," he murmured, stopping in front of his mansion. "I know."

--

_Oneshot? Twoshot? Story? I don't know. Tell me what you think. I'm still debating on whether I should make another chapter, where Edward goes to driving school._

_By the way, I've never driven before. So if I got a little off with the driving school thing and ticket, just let it pass. It's just a story. _


	2. A Little Note

I'm sorry to say:

This, and all of my other stories will be put on a temporary hiatus. I know I don't update often, but I will be updating less often.

Finals are approaching and I need to focus on more important things.

Although I won't be updating as much as I did (which wasn't very often), I will still be checking my mail for messages and responding to reviews and PMs, etc.

I've been wanting to do this for quite a while now.

Thanks for all of your understanding. And it doesn't mean that if I don't have an extra couple hours on the weekend I won't update.

And I know I will lose readers because of my lack of updates. At this point, I couldn't care less. I love my readers and I love that you read my stories and that you review them. But, the problem is, I can't update as much as all of you would like. And it's frustrating for a writer to know that she can't update every weekend like she should. It's aggravating to know that people, actual people, are reading your stories and that you don't have a lot of time to update so those actual people can read them. I just sincerely hope that you will still have interest in the story after the long wait.

And I really appreciate everyone who has read my stories. You don't know how much that means to me. Well, it means a whole lot, I tell you.

The stories that I probably will be updating the quickest:

**To Find Love Again**

**Only a FairyTale**

**In The City of Love**

**Blue Skies Ahead**

I'm sorry. I really am. I apologize especially to the people who have read the stories that I update the least. Like The Irony of Vacation, or Only a Fairytale.

I truly hope that people still read the stories. I'm sorry for not updating, for keeping you waiting, and I'm sorry for the hiatus. I also apologize to those people whom I PM regularly. I know it takes me weeks to PM you back. I'm so horrible about those types of things. I put them in a special file so I remember to message you back, but then I forget I have the file!

Anyways...

Thanks for reading. :D

And maybe I will have an inspiration to write a oneshot. You never know.

I will update again.

Just not anytime soon.

Thanks, and farewell for now,

Moony x


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